ober - This person is lacking in daily Bible reading. When they look around they do not see lost souls. They possess a "don't care" attitude concerning others. They are happy with "where they are" with God. They have no desire to move forward and they show no signs of life (sitting in the pew with a frown, no praise and no worship). They wonder why everyone else is being blessed of God and they are not.
Tipsy - The usual signs are a flushed face, stupid grin, loud voice and profound love for Jesus. They are deeply involved in the worship of God, intelligent and insightful; yet still prone to giggles when talking about the goodness of God. This is the first stage of becoming a really drunk Christian and it occurs right after the individual takes a drink (repentance and water baptism) for the first time.
Plastered - Becomes extremely generous with finances, especially concerning the work of the Lord. Still shows signs of loudness when talking about the mercy of God. They show confidence in their daily walk. Suffers from prolonged talkativeness by telling others of things they use to do and places they use to go. Shows a desire to teach a Bible study, witness, knock doors, etc.
Drunk - Suffers from vision impairment (sees no evil), hearing impairment (hears no evil), and speech impairment (speaks no evil). Has an insatiable appetite for God in the form of teaching, preaching, etc. Infatuated with Jesus and wants everyone else to be, too. Possesses an illogical belief that they are actully following in the steps of Jesus and wants everyone else to do the same.
Wasted - Individual finds themselves impervious to the devil's schemes. Incapable of following after anything that is in the world or of the world. Suffers from extreme loss of balance and coordination (shouting, rolling on the floor, jumping pews), and easily distracted (looks toward eastern sky as if waiting for a trumpet sound). At the mere mention of God's wonderful works and mighty acts of mercy they are liable to break out in fits of worship (shouting, dancing, aisle running, tongue talking).
Sot (or Besotted) - Suffers from near death-like state unless they are in church at least 3 times a week. Can be found in prayer daily and has daily Bible devotion. They're often found in an apparent catatonic state while speaking in an unknown language. Still shows signs of being wasted (see above) and requires exposure to God's presence regularly. The individual is in the final stages of Christianity and usually tends to stay this way for the rest of their life. Nothing can be done for them when they reach this point. This individual goes around with the attitude that at any moment he/she will get a promotion (rapture) to a better place.
by Tammy-Raynes - Natchitoches, LA